I am in the BLT group!

Thank you to everyone that has been with me reading my blog and posting your support as well.  I know some diets work for some and surgeries work for others but I think I have found a good one in Poon that will work for me.  I just need to get the mindset straight to continue on the journey.

That being said I had another session with Susanne last night.  I mentioned the fact I wasn't hungry at lunchtime or suppertime on Wednesday and so we discussed that for a bit.  We discovered that the world is my oyster and I can choose what I want to it.  Where as growing up, it was a "you can't eat this because it has meat, or carcinogens, or whatever Mom/Jack believed at the time....." and I would defy them by eating all the stuff I wasn't allowed.  So know that I am on my own I can eat what I want when I want and that is why I am not thinking/wanting food all the time.  It only took 19 years to get it out of my system and that is a lot of food! LOL

Then we disussed how I eat.  Not meaning I use a fork versus a spoon but do I enjoy food or just putting food in my mouth and scarfing it down.  She had me keep journal last week on my thoughts when I ate.  We looked back on it and found that a savour food and I am happy with the initial in the mouth sensation and really don't want the rest and I guess I am BLT'er in the Poon group . I am also becoming more comfortable with leaving food on my plate but I need to remember not to pick at it. So she commented that I should simply crumple up my napkin and place it on the plate so that I know no one else will eat it, it is covered up so I will forget that it is there and also it is a sign for the waiter to take it away before I pick at it.

She also asked me draw how I see myself.......boy Mrs. Indart would be ashamed LOL Susanne had me talk out loud as I was drawing it and she took notes as we went.....well that made for some fun.  She said that she isn't going to tell me what she wrote but I am sure we are going to revisit this topic later on down the road and sure that there will be changes.

So that is ti for a bit since I am stoked for this weekend of camping and Wonderland all on the same weekend!!!!!!  I will try to post pics when I get back.

Shocked

Breakfast was the last of the boiled eggs and half a cuke that I had in the fridge here at work.  I thought that I would eat that instead of the bagels that are frozen the fridge at home.  *little pat on the back for me.....* BUT..........

I never thought I this would happen.......I need to get some lunch and I have no interest in food right now.  Normally I would have been thinking about it all morning and would be just waiting for noon to get here.

hmmmm.

Maybe there is hope for my eating habits yet. :)

A good catch up

I know I have been slacking in my posting and I see that no one has been missing it like a cancelled soap opera LOL.  There have been things that have been going on in the last couple of months that I think I can talk about again. 

I had my review at work and was really reluctant since we now have a revised HR department where we didn’t really have one before.  The VP was running things and wore that hat too, but when she left and the new one came in she really shook things up and a HR department was part of it.  So when I have had jobs in the past I got the pat on the back and a “you’re a getting an $X raise” and that was it.  Well now there was a form I had to fill out on whether I was meeting expectations or exceeding them.  I knew that the DH has used them for his team so we talked about it over breakfast one Saturday morning and I turned it in to Management.  I got to meet with the MoO and my supervisor and we were in agreement that I was meeting expectations.  I was even told that I was great to work with on a daily basis!  Next up was the DoO.  I got praises from her for leading the Social Committee and how she has seen a reduction in the errors in my work!  That got me a raise J  I guess I shouldn't sweat the small stuff! 

Well I took your advice and changed from Coco to Susanne.  I am not sure if she is younger than me but she definitely not older.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but she does specialize with eating disorders and Nikki actually relaxes when we are there.  I guess the fact Nikki didn’t settle at Coco’s should have been a sign.  Anyway, Susanne has been able to teach me to look at food differently to the point I get bored of eating.  She has been able to get into my head that it is okay to leave food behind on my plate.  I just need to break the habit of picking at while I wait for the plate to get cleared away.  She also has the thought that deprivation should be allowed.  So I need to repeat things in my head when I am restaurants and even at home while I am thinking about food.  She has been able to give me homework to do so that I am able to talk to the DH and start on working on myself.  I have had 3 visits with her already and I feel like I am making it somewhere with my head. 

Speaking of food, I have changed doctors at the clinic and he is really interested on how I am doing with Susanne and keeps taking lots of notes.  On the down side, I have gained it all back but Dr. Crystal gives me mini challenges to do and this time around it is only 4 pounds of fat by the 20^th.  I think that this is doable if I put what Susanne has told me and the tools of Poon get put together.  It is the bridge between the 2 that is getting difficult.  But who said it was going to be? 

The DH and I haven’t been camping and we have only hit CW once this year.  I will be glad when our lives will get back to normal in 2014 so that we can do more stuff on a whim.  It was nice the first year since I had all the girls over, and the second year even that got boring.  In the 3^rd year I was just sitting around.  I felt like I have run out of things to do on my own LOL   

Had a family get together for my Mon’s 65^th and I was a little reluctant to go since I hadn’t seen my cousins for a bit and there was tension even then when we were together with one in particular.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but I gave her my phone number and the ball is in her court.  I also realised that I was at a new high in my weight and thought that for sure it was going to have some gossip around it.  I don’t even think it came up but I guess I will have to chip away at it 4 pounds at a time LOL 

I think that is it for now……..so hopefully I will update again in a few days!