Regrets

A question that is asked of us that have had this surgery at some point or another.  Most of the time it is “just one…..why didn’t I have it sooner?”

I have thought about having any regrets regarding the surgery and I will say that I don’t have one.  It isn’t an easy road as many of you have seen by reading this blog, but I think I have it easy considering what I have read on various message boards.

Would I have had the surgery sooner?  I am not sure.

It was a 3+ years now when Dr. Sarah suggested the surgery and looking back I don’t think I would have been mentally prepared.

The year before the surgery when we go to TWH it is to help us get ready for the surgery but I believe that it just scratches the surface.  If I didn’t do my own research or have the help of Susanne I would have been at a loss and most likely would have been more detrimental to myself.

In the past 3 years I think I have mentally grown with the help of Susanne and the DH to put me in a place to use the Tiny Tummy as a tool for weight loss rather than the answer.

In those 3 years I have learned the obsession that I have with food when I am told no by someone; I have learned all I need is a bite, lick or taste; learned the difference in proteins that would benefit me; and found a new relationship with veggies that I look forward to eating them.

I think I am glad that I had waited.

Stress, Poop and Bums

The end of April was my last post and it only feels less than that has gone by!  I guess that is what happens when you have auditors come into the office and they are here for 4 days straight!  I felt like they were looking for some skeleton that was in the closet.  I has the Boss if she was nervous and she said that she wasn’t.  It was more the stress of getting everything ready before they got here that does her in.  So I decided to brighten her day and I bought her this little flower and secretly placed it on her desk.  Needless to say her desk was so full she didn’t even see it until we left.

 

I felt bad for the Boss since I had a brutal headache on Tuesday that caused me to vomit a few times through the night.  I was afraid of “squeezing” to hard and doing damage to the Tiny Tummy.  I know that I am 5 months post op now but the fear will be there until I go for another check up on June when I can see what state everything is.  I know they are going to ask me about pooping.  Well I think that I am going to mention that I am pooping like a man right now.  I think the DH dreads going into the bathroom every third day after me.  They warned is that protein poops are going to be large and in charge.  Well I am definitely following this and I have not been able to fix the toilet myself.  I am getting some fibre supplements when I go the grocer’s on Saturday.  Not just for my sake, but for the sanity of the DH and the toilet LOL

I had dinner with DoxyLover and the Hubby last night and they were nice enough to let me ride the coattails for their Costco membership so I could get some Premier Protein shakes and bars.  I am finding that I am struggling with the protein again and the hair is still coming out.  The powder I was using from the Bulk Barn was making too much for me to drink and I felt like I wasn’t getting all the protein.  This way, the containers are 11 ozs with 30 grams of protein and I sip on it in the car while it is still cold.  I then can have a bar that is another 30 grams of protein as a snack at 10:30.  Well that was my plan.  I tried it today to find that the bar at 10:30 filled me up so much I didn’t even think about lunch.  I poked my brie and apple “toast” around and I am taking it home for supper instead.  So I think ½ the bar will be the 10:30 am snack and the other half will be my 3:00 pm snack or just lunch.  I am hoping that this will kick start the growth for my hair and nails.

The DH and I built a raised flower bed/garden on the weekend and come Sunday I was really warm so I thought I would put on my leggings for bumming around the houses.  I have to admit that I rocked them pretty good!  I am not saying that I going to take up stripping because of it, but I was concerned about drooping skin in the back causing all sort if issues.  But as you can see, I think I have my western riding butt back and it took for me to lose 70 pounds to do it J 

 

I also tried some marshmallow when C, Maine, PizzaGuy and the kids were over on Saturday night for the first campfire in the back yard of the year!  Well the Tummy Troll made such a ruckus that the DH got the rest of it.  I guess I am not up to those and I am not sure if I want to try the sugar free marshmallows over a fire.  That is something I will have find and experiment with.

I almost forgot to tell you about the movies!  The DH and I went to see the latest Avengers in 3D and we slummed it and got regular seats.  Well I was able to sit in them with space to spare!  It was a great thing not to worry about knocking over pop when I went to sit down or feel like I was imposing on the DH's space on the arm rest.  Next thing I know, I will be able to sit like Nash in but in the VIP seats LOL

So things are well and I am hoping that you are all well too!

What a weekend!

Today was the 2nd Friday of the Day Job and I think I will get use to it.  My body is still thinking that the Therapy Dog visits we do on Wednesdays are still on Fridays.  It doesn't help when I work the DH shift at the 2nd job on Monday night and had the Wednesday off.  I am sure that it will feel less hectic this week (I hope)

So there is a restaurant at the corner near the Day Job where they employ folks that have a developmental disability to work cooking and serving.  So they send emails out on a daily basis of what the specials are and Friday caught McCannBeIrish and my attention since they were offering a spinach salad topped with almonds, poppy seed dressing and fresh strawberries.  So I had to go to storage and the bank for the office so I offered to pick it up on the way back.  I thought if the spinach doesn't sit well I can always pick at the strawberries and the almonds.  When I opened up the box we were both pleasantly surprised how it look and it tasted "ahhhhhmazing!"

Granted I only at 1/4 of the spinach and bits but the tummy troll didn't complain, I didn't get a blockage like I feared and I wanted to eat the whole darn thing it was that tasty!  So I picked out the strawberries and the almonds in cellophane and tossed the spinach since it would be too wilted by the time I got to it for supper.

Well I was going to have a Therapy Dog visit with Noodle at the Women's Shelter near the Day Job, until I received and email from RedRogers saying that things hadn't settled out yet and we weren't visiting.  So I headed home and chatted with the DH to see how his day was before he went off to the 2nd job.  I decided that I was beat so I took a nap and I guess I felt revived so I took the girls for a walk before heading out to get groceries.

Saturday was Mom's moving day.  She decided to move back to her "home town" and was able to find a bachelor apartment and of course she had to much stuff to fit in.  She didn't have room for her freezer and my cousin NT forgot to take the tires to the "Farm" for storage.  So lucky enough the DH and I took the truck and we came home with both.  I also got a few compliments from the family since none of them haven't seen me since Mom's birthday get together last May.  NT called me "scrawny" and told me that he hasn't seen me this "small" since we were 12 LOL  I told him that I working on the scrawny bit and walked away.  Mom even stated at one point "you have lost more. I can tell when you are standing beside me."  Just they wait until Christmas (if we get together.....)

We got home around 4 and decided to make some spaghetti with meatballs.  Well the tiny troll wasn't happy with the meatballs since I felt like my stomach was distended and hard.  So I passed on those and just let the pain pass and ate a yogurt later on in the night.  It was also my turn to pick the movie so I chose Bolt and I didn't realise how much of snuggle bug Miss Melodie is.  Here she is watching the movie with the DH.

 

 

Sunday was pretty quiet and it was Miss Nikki Noodle's 14th birthday.  We gave her a birthday "cookie" and her special supper that she shared with Miss Mel to celebrate.

 

We also had get together with the DH Day Job coworkers.  there was more than enough food but I stuck to my BLT ways and made it through.  Mind you I didn't feel to good because of the disassociation and I think I over did it.  I had a quick nap before the 2nd job but I felt a little off.  I did try to eat but when I did I felt waaaay to full and I thought if I opened my mouth you can see food at the back of my throat.  So stuck with liquids for the night and I felt okay in the morning.

More Changes

Well I things have been changing some more since my last post.

Down 66 pounds!  I was concerned about the stall (in fact a 4 pound gain) and thanks to Mother Nature, it is gone as well as another pound.  This is the first time in 4 months that "it" has fluctuated my weight so I guess I will be more conscious or the scale every 28 days.

Another change that is happening is that I am walking out of another pair of jeans.  I dug them out of the 2nd closet on the weekend thinking that they were going o be snug.  Not quite, but I wore them as they were.  I had them on again last night when DentisT was over and I kept pulling them up and stepping on the bottoms of the legs.  I guess by the end of the week they will be in the charity pile.

I honestly went looking for a pair of jeans that I thought I held on to from many moons ago.  They were a smaller jean from a now extinct Cotton Ginny.  I loved this store in high school and Curl and I were talking about how I looked in their taper legged jean. (Good grief, we have been friends that long?!?!?!?) Anyway, I thought that they were in the bag in the DH closet from the move, only to find that there are more skirts from Miss A that I most definitely will need to give charity.  I then realised that I must have given them away in a "purge" when we were going through some closets getting the house ready before I was approved for surgery.  I guess I will never know how I will look in the CG jeans now.

My nose or more like the nose to brain to tummy connection has changed.  The Admin Assistant here at the day job (McCanBeIrish) likes to eat hot lunches.  This could be leftovers or something that she has gone out and bought.  So recently she has been brining in beef and that has made a nice smell in the ol' factory lobes.  Except for today.  Today it was a pasta alfredo thingy from the grocer's.  Well I walked into the lunchroom after her and wrinkled my nose.  Pre-surgery I lived on those little frozen suckers and relished in the smell.  I just went and grabbed my yogurt and protein chips for lunch.

So that is what has been up the past couple of days and sorry I don't have a topic related pic, so I will just post this one for you :)

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Still thinking.....

I have been lurking through a few new blogs and so old tried and true ones :)  One has brought something to light for me.  She is a runner and she has most definitely made good use of her time since she has dropped a whopping 130 pounds.

She is now training for a her runs and has mentioned that she is wanting to drop another 15 pounds before she starts back on the weights to "bulk up" and that she is going low carb (Phase 1 for Pooners) to so.  She also mentions how she is being using ketosis sticks to check her urine every morning to see if she is in fat burning mode.

I remember reading when she started he running that she wanted to tone and lose the weight.  Then she started doing little races and now she if flying to marathons.  I say good on her for being able to accomplish such a feat over the years and she rewards herself with a glass of red wine afterwards.

I have given it great thought (an that is as far as it gets) for taking the plunge into running but I think I will keep with the "dreadmill" as she calls it.

This go me thinking of a question that was asked of me at my last check up at TWH.  Have I replaced the food addiction with another.  Some folks it is shopping for new clothes and some have turned to chemical devices.  I said that I haven't and then we joked that I have started smoking after surgery since I didn't do it before LOL I don't think I have picked anything new up, but I did notice this morning that the bat wings are getting a bit bigger. I am not at tis point yet but I will be keeping them in check!

 

 

I also have been given the go ahead by Susanne to see her every other month.  She was concerned about my mental state after the surgery but she has been happy that I am happy.  She is glad that I am keeping the eating sensible and that I haven't be detrimental to myself like she has seen before.

 

I think that the honeymoon phase of the surgery is over.  My weight loss is slowing down almost stalling so the body has done what it can do on its own.  We were warned that this would happen at 6 months and I am almost at 5 months so since I am ahead of the curve on everything else, why not this?  So I will be most likely going for more walks where I can and less in front of FB ;)  Don't worry I will still be blogging since I *know* it kills you when you don't get an update :)

 

“If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”   -RuPaul

RaNdOm tHoUgHtS

I have had some time to think, which I know is crazy and that is where all the spiders are coming from LOL

These are some thoughts that I have had in the past few days:

-Did you know that you can lose weight and shrink out of underwear?  Yup, this gal did it.  I had my "comfy" ones and I noticed when I was getting dressed I had "droopy drawers."

-I wasn't hungry yesterday so I didn't eat all that much but focused on proteins when I did and then I decided to eat a "meal" last night and I couldn't finish it!  Did I shrink the tiny tummy to surgery size?  Normally I am up to a yogurt cup and a "side" that is roughly the same size (an egg or cheese etc) But when I went to eat last night I could only get through half of what I made when I could eat almost all of it last week.  I guess I will take this new found tummy size and not push it.

-With weight loss come new issues.  I *love* the fact that I cross my legs but I also found out that it causes my knee caps to fall asleep.  I always have wanted to cross my legs like this:

 

 

It has been a goal of mine since I always thought the thinner we were the closer the legs got.  I now find that the leg underneath with have kneecap issues because the top leg sits on the muscle just before the knee cap.  I will uncross my legs and it is the weirdest sensation!

 

-The Tiny Tummy is giving me trials again.  What was good last month is a no go this month.  Just when I get it all figured out!  This go around I am having the sweats and the heart palpitations over orange juice.  Even if it is diluted.  The other thing is tortillas.  The Troll chats up a storm after eating a 1/4 of one so I guess I am going to just eat the filling out of them and I really liked quesadillas too!

 

-Lastly, I am on the hunt for some shrimp.  The kind that you have that is already seasoned that I can throw in the over 5-6 at a time.  I have a box in the freezer but I think it was from M&M and as we know that place isn't the cheapest for food.  So if you come across something like this please let me know so I can get some for the freezer that I can make when the DH works.

 

 

Thanks for listening to the randomness and who knows what I will post about next :)

People get confused easily.

I have to admit that I had a great weekend this week.  I had a St John Conference that everyone in Ontario got to go. So RedRogers and I were there and an gal I will talking about in the future so I am going to call her GrayHorse.  There was over 300 people there that were either administration, MFR (Medic First Responder) or Therapy Dog.  So as per usual I take the Nikki Noodle and she wears her vest. 



Well I have to say when you have a group of folks that are around the Therapy Dogs on a regular basis some forget that some can be a service dog and therapy dog.  Nikki is a dual purpose dog and is one of these.  She knows the difference between her vest and her bandana because of the way I talk to her and the way that I put them on her. I will tell Nikki it is time to go work and she put her head through the vest.  I will tell her that it is time for hugs and snuggles and I will tie the bandana around her neck.  The want us to start using a large cotton vest for the dogs and I am going to have to figure pout a way to put it on her so that she doesn't get confused.  I think I will modify it with Velcro at the neck so it goes on the same way as the bandana and then since up the waist. /me pondering

Anyway, I would walk to the registration to get my badge and I would have to tell one person not to pet her since she is working.  As I am telling this person, I turn around and see more hands on her back.  SHEESH!  So I finally get to my seat and divert a bunch of "drive by petting" that Nikki got.

We get in line for lunch and was soooooo cold from the conference room that I put my Therapy Dog jacket on to stay warm.  I wasn't the only one that was cold so I can't say that I got the post surgery chills that others get from losing weight.  Well a lady from "the Sue" as we call it was all excited that there was a Therapy Dog to pet.  I asked her not to since Nikki was working and can't be distracted.  Well that is when she decided to have an adult temper tantrum. She rather rudely said that I shouldn't be so confusing with wearing a therapy dog jacket and have a service dog.  I calmly replied that Nikki is wearing a service vest that should have addressed the issue of her working or not.  Well she huffed and looked at her friend that was with her and her friend just shook her head at me.  REALLY!?!?!

So I grabbed my little bites of food and headed back to the table of 6 and started to relay my story with the group of the ladies that were there.  In the meantime the hospitality staff came over and wanted to take my plate away thinking I was done!  He thought what I took was the leftovers I didn't want.  I told him that I haven't even started yet and he cleared someone else's plate.  Wow....I officially eat the equivalent to table scraps.  No wonder the DH and I can share a steak LOL  So I ate my bits of chicken and tomatoes and called it lunch.

I decided that I had some time left I would let Nikki go out to romp and do her business.  Well she was out there she played and I soaked up some sun since it was warmer than tee-shirt and a light jacket weather.  She was her little solar panel for a bit too and just squinted her eyes at me in enjoyment.  As we were walking back I caught a sideways glimpse of myself in a mirror.  I did a recheck since I really didn't see the "muffin top" on top of my jeans.  I then realised that I have been looking at myself straight on when I get out of the shower and see small differences.  It wasn't until I saw myself sideways that I am starting to look like the girl in my head. I had a little smile as I walked down the hall back to my seat for the rest of the conference.

The afternoon sessions were "break away" tracks that focused on the areas we were in and I this is where I found out that RedRogers is leaving us to go back home to Newfoundland.  I know she is taking a lot of knowledge and her 2 Westies with her and that leave GreyHorse as the new area manager.  I was able to talk to her and she has asked for some help so I offered to help out with keeping track of the volunteer hours and keeping the vaccination records for everyone.

Needless to say people are confusing!